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Spideyj's geekery

A collection of things, often related to video games, comic books and other assorted geekery. And also social justice.
Apr 15 '14

fact-tory:

wilwheaton:

Turns out that /r/mensrights survey I posted yesterday was rigged, and the person who set it up has withdrawn the whole thing. So … now you know.

Reblogging this because facts are important.

However, there was another survey apparently done about 9 months ago that does not seem to have been invalidated (at least, I find no evidence of it and actually found the link to it on an anti-SJ blog debunking the more recent survey). Link is here.

Here are the charts, in case you don’t feel like wandering over to Reddit and checking them out yourself:

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tl;dr: Still predominantly a bunch of young, single, heterosexual white guys.

But perhaps my favorite chart is this:

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Which has been mentioned before, but there’s the actual evidence that “men’s rights” is more concerned with false rape accusations than male rape.

Even though the latter is statistically more common… PRIORITIES

Apr 15 '14

seananmcguire:

“Most girls are relentlessly told that we will be treated how we demand to be treated. If we want respect, we must respect ourselves. This does three things. Firstly, it gets men off the hook for being held accountable for how they treat women. And secondly, it makes women feel that the mistreatment and sometimes outright violence they face due to their gender is primarily their fault. And thirdly, it positions women to be unable to speak out against sexism because we are made to believe any sexism we experience would not have happened if we had done something differently. I cannot demand a man to respect me. No more than I can demand that anybody do anything. I can ask men to be nice to me. But chances are if I even have to ask he does not care to be nice. I can express displeasure when I’m not being respected. But that doesn’t solve the issue that I was disrespected in the first place. I can choose to not deal with a man once he proves to be disrespectful and/or sexist. But even that does not solve the initial problem of the fact that I had to experience being disrespected in the first place. As a young girl, I wish that instead of being told that I needed to demand respect from men that I had been told that when I am not respected by men that it’s his fault and not mine. But that would require that we quit having numerous arbitrary standards for what it means to be a “respectable” woman. It would mean that I am not judged as deserving violence based on how I speak, what I wear, what I do, and who I am.”

— excerpt from “FYI, I Cannot “Demand” Respect From Men so Stop Telling Me That!" @ One Black Girl. Many Words.  (via fajazo)

(Source: daniellemertina)

Apr 15 '14
"[[MORE]]
About a year ago, DC Comics hired Orson Scott Card, a popular science fiction writer (and highly vocal gay rights opponent) to write a story for its new “Adventures of Superman” anthology book.
Gay rights advocates were outraged that DC would give work to such an outspokenly homophobic writer, much less for Superman, a character that promotes equality and justice for all people. Many threatened to boycott DC’s publications.
As is often the case in these situations, those supporting Card and his views were quick to take to message boards and decree that those upset over the writer’s hiring were being overly sensitive for being offended. The following is a sampling of these comments: “I’m OFFENDED! Congratulations. Here’s a cookie and a pat on the end for expressing an emotion; a feeling, at best and nobody really cares about your feelings.” “In other news, I find air to be offensive.” “When did people become so sensitive? But really though, how about these people stop being a bunch of easily offended and overly sensitive whiners.” “Sometimes I feel like people are just looking for something to be offended over.” “Omg!!!! Does there ALWAYS have to be an issue to bitch about?!?!” “Oh dear god. You can’t fart without offending someone these days.” I don’t think it’s a stretch to say the average gay person would be irritated by how patronizing these comments are. After all, labeling someone “overly sensitive” or “too easily offended” is a classic tactic those in the majority use to try to silence an oppressed group speaking out against something that is legitimately troubling. Oh,no, wait. Hold on. You see, only the first comment was referring to the Orson Scott Card controversy. All the others were all people speaking out against today’s announcement that the producers of RuPaul’s Drag Race would now remove the term “She-Mail” from Ru’s challenge introduction segments. The phrase is obviously a play on “she-male” a slur often used against trans people. I somehow missed out when this whole controversy broke earlier today but what I’ve seen about it since then is extremely disheartening. Too many gay people, allies, and former Drag Race contestants have been willing to effectively tell a whole section of marginalized people to shut the hell up because they are attached to a pun. People, it’s not even that great of a pun. A stereotype that society seems strangely comfortable hanging upon homosexuals is that we all have a razor-sharp sense of humor. Sure, many of us have learned to use humor as a (necessary) defense mechanism, but I’m afraid just as many have come to believe that we are “edgy” comedians, beyond reproach, laying all blame on the offended, never the offender. That is a cop out. Racism isn’t “just being catty”. Misogyny isn’t “throwing shade”. Transphobia isn’t “a read”. Just because a joke doesn’t come from a perceived place of hate doesn’t mean it isn’t hurting someone else. And what is most troubling about this to me is, as I pointed out earlier, this is the sort of song and dance people constantly use to try belittle gay voices. How could any gay person think it is okay to do the same to a group fighting even harder to be heard? We have to do better than this."
Apr 14 '14
themarysue:

We noticed that we’re getting real close to 20k Tumblr followers, so we’re giving away season one of Orphan Black to a lucky member of our lovely Tumblr community, and you could win it. Here’s how!
Follow us on Tumblr.
Like and reblog this post.
Do it before noon Eastern Time on Friday, April 18th.
That’s it! That’s all you need to do. We will randomly choose one winner once the duration of the contest is over, and contact them through Fan Mail in order to get their shipping info. Now here’s the fine print:
The prize is the 3 disc DVD set of Orphan Black season one that the Orphan Black Tumblr so nicely sent to Jill.
We will ship the prize to the US and Canada, so if you don’t live there (or have understanding acquaintances who could forward your package to you), we advise you not to enter.
If you do not follow our Tumblr, you will be disqualified.
We ask you kindly not to spam your followers by reblogging the post over and over, but hey, we’re not the boss of you.
Good luck! And remember, get your likes and reblogs in by noon this Friday!

themarysue:

We noticed that we’re getting real close to 20k Tumblr followers, so we’re giving away season one of Orphan Black to a lucky member of our lovely Tumblr community, and you could win it. Here’s how!

That’s it! That’s all you need to do. We will randomly choose one winner once the duration of the contest is over, and contact them through Fan Mail in order to get their shipping info. Now here’s the fine print:

  • The prize is the 3 disc DVD set of Orphan Black season one that the Orphan Black Tumblr so nicely sent to Jill.
  • We will ship the prize to the US and Canada, so if you don’t live there (or have understanding acquaintances who could forward your package to you), we advise you not to enter.
  • If you do not follow our Tumblr, you will be disqualified.
  • We ask you kindly not to spam your followers by reblogging the post over and over, but hey, we’re not the boss of you.

Good luck! And remember, get your likes and reblogs in by noon this Friday!

Apr 13 '14

chescaleigh:

Ever wonder what it’s like to be an actor or actress of color? This perfectly sums it up.

(Source: knitmeapony)

Apr 13 '14
"Have you ever heard the phrase cockblocking? You know, you’re at a bar, talking to a girl, and what happens? Her less attractive friend comes over and ruins everything. Cockblock. Well I have to tell you something guys: I have been the less attractive friend, and you were NOT cockblocked. I was following orders from my better-looking friend that she did not wanna fuck you. …Girls have two signals for their friends: ‘I’m gonna fuck him’ and ‘HELP.’"

Amy Schumer [x] (via rashaka)

The number of “get me out of here” tactics women have developed and shared to help each other escape from overly-insistent-to-borderline-predatory dudes in public places should probably be enough evidence of the existence of rape culture all on its own.

(via madgastronomer)

YES

(via ellakrystina)

I especially like how, in the majority of cases, you don’t have to verbally communicate what your signals are to other women. I’ve had women I didn’t even know come save me. Literally every woman recognizes the “Dear god, help me” facial expression, and knows exactly what they should do. We don’t get a handbook for this. We don’t have a sit-down nail polish party where we talk about a standardized woman code for preventing creepers. It’s just part of being a woman.

BUT LOL RAPE CULTURE DOESN’T EXIST.

(via eastberlin)

Yup. I’ve definitely taken strangers by the arm and pulled her aside to go, “Oh my GOD it’s you! How ARE YOU?!? It’s been so long!” and then been like “hey I could overhear that guy who wouldn’t leave you alone so I figured I’d give you an out” and then see their VISIBLY RELIEVED expressions. This is part of girl code, because rape culture is that pervasive.

(via thebicker)

I once had a girl sit on my lap and say “hey baby” after she witnessed a guy (who was easily 20+ years older than me) hitting on me and harassing me for my number even after I told him I was taken. After he got up and left she asked if I was okay. I couldn’t thank her enough times, I even bought her a drink.

(via castielsmiles)

We have done this. In fact, we are this. Because we are asexual and we don’t like alcohol so we never drink, we have gone with friends to parties/places where our sole job was to keep an eye out for everyone and be the permanent ‘aggressive man-sheild.’ Not one of our female friends has ever questioned this or found it all strange. In fact, often once they realized we were willing to do it, it would be pre-arranged. Every guy friend we ever did this in front of or tried to explain to looked flabbergasted. They had no idea that this was a) an intentional thing, b) a planned ahead thing, or c) universal.

Rape culture is the fact that every woman understands this. Male privilege is the fact that no guy on earth seems to know or understand.

(via cractasticdispatches)

I’ve been asked to pretend to be my friend’s girlfriend every time we go out at night, just because she wears clothes that show off her curves and guys won’t leave her alone. They only back off when I put my arm around her and act as if we’re together romantically, and sometimes not even then.

(via zaataronpita)

i once ran interference for a friend, only to receive the unwanted advances myself. he wouldn’t back off until my (male) friend literally wrapped me up in his arms and acted as if he was my S.O.

(via miljathefailcat)

It happens online too. A guy I know started Facebook-stalking me after a recent interaction, and my roommate immediately got on Facebook and told him she was my girlfriend. He thankfully backed off after that.

I can’t count the number of times I have pretended to be somebody’s girlfriend or sister in a bar when a guy wouldn’t leave her alone. Both with friends and strangers.

(via feministsupernatural)

After reading these, I feel like taking a shower. Because I’m the designated driver pretty much every time, not being a big fan of alcohol, but I rarely, if ever, intervene. And yeah, I’m small and pretty physically weak, but I could put my foot down verbally if it came down to it. I’m just too scared.

(via harperhug)

You’re probably scared of confronting the guys.  And you should be.  That’s what this whole post is about.  Rape culture is so prevalent and socially accepted as the rule of the land that if someone confronts a guy and tells him directly to back off, someone is getting hurt.  That’s why all of the testimonies here are examples of how to deflect.  How women all learn methods of pulling a woman away from a situation with a guy who isn’t allowing her to say no, by making up some lie that will get the guy to let her go without sending him into a rage and deciding to teach you both a lesson about knowing your place and submitting to rape culture.  Men are dangerous in these situations because all of society backs them up as just a nice guy who deserves a chance, and vilifies any woman who refuses to give him a chance.  Women are not allowed to say no.  So other women have to rescue the women saying no and pull them away with some made up excuse.  Otherwise the situation will escalate and the ones who get hurt are always the women. 

(via coffeegleek)

Women absolutely have to learn rescue tactics for each other, but it’s kind of funny how we describe really obvious facial expressions and body language as “secret signals.” The reality is that women telegraph disinterest in these aggressive men, making it super obvious, but men choose to ignore it. Total strangers who are just sitting nearby or happen to glance their way will be able to see that the woman isn’t interested, but the guy making the advances is somehow oblivious? Unlikely.

(via smitethepatriarchy)

And perceived physical power of the woman doesn’t matter either, I have had to do this for other rollergirls. Even after bouts where they are bruised, sweaty, and partying with a bunch of other built women in the same jersey.

(via polerin)

One time, some friends and I were having dinner at a reasonably fancy restaurant when I suddenly noticed the other girl in the group, who’d gone to the bathroom, had been away for ages. I decided to go see if she was all right. The bathroom was at the back, outside and out of view, and when I went out there, lo, there were two hella drunk guys who’d cornered her for a clearly unwelcome chat, putting themselves between her and the door back into the main restaurant, both ignoring her defensive, unrelaxed body language which SCREAMED “I do not want to be here”. So I walked up, loudly announced that the others had wanted to tell her something, and brought her back inside, whereon she heaved a huge sigh of relief and thanked me for rescuing her. She’d tried to extricate herself politely several times, but either the guys hadn’t noticed or were wilfully ignoring her, so she’d been stuck there humouring them for twenty minutes. For the first time, the idea of girls going to the bathroom in packs made sense to me: so that individuals don’t get cornered and propositioned by douchebags on the way to and from their group. 

(via fozmeadows)

Apr 13 '14

fozmeadows:

“Twilight has problems with misogyny and with abusive relationships. I don’t want to sugar-coat that. But if you, dear reader, are going around saying that Twilight is proof that girls are all stupid-heads who want a brooding vampire to stalk and abuse them, then you are being misogynistic. In all my years of life, I have never heard anyone seriously speculate that the popularity of femme fatales in fiction means that all men secretly yearn for an abusive relationship; yet in the time since Twilight was released, I have heard the meme that all girls wish to be abused more times than I can count. This is a failure of understanding the difference between fantasy and reality, and it is a “failure” that conveniently props up existing misogynistic narratives about how women who stay with abusers stay because they secretly want to be abused rather than because they are groomed (by both their abuser and the larger society) to stay with their abuser, and because society does not empower them to leave. This is a comforting lie we tell ourselves because it’s easier to blame abuse victims than acknowledge that we are failing them.”

Ana Mardoll’s Ramblings: Twilight: Abuse and Attention (via michaelblume)

Apr 11 '14

The Importance of Mary Sue

unwinona:

When I was in Ninth Grade, I won a thing.  

That thing, in particular, was a thirty dollar Barnes & Noble gift certificate.  I was still too young for a part-time job, so I didn’t have this kind of spending cash on me, ever.  I felt like a god.

Drunk with power, I fancy-stepped my way to my local B&N.  I was ready to choose new books based solely on the most important of qualities…BADASS COVER ART.  I walked away with a handful of paperbacks, most of which were horrible (I’m looking at you, Man-Kzin Wars III) or simply forgettable.  

One book did not disappoint.  I fell down the rabbit hole into a series that proved to be as badass as the cover art promised (Again, Man-Kzin Wars III, way to drop the ball on that one).  With more than a dozen books in the series, I devoured them.  I bought cassette tapes of ballads sung by bards in the stories.  And the characters.  Oh, the characters.  I loved them.  Gryphons, mages, but most importantly, lots of women.  Different kinds of women.  So many amazing women.  I looked up to them, wrote bad fiction that lifted entire portions of dialogue and character descriptions, dreamed of writing something that the author would include in an anthology.

This year I decided in a fit of nostalgia to revisit the books I loved so damn much.  I wanted to reconnect with my old friends…

…and I found myself facing Mary Sues.  Lots of them.  Perfect, perfect, perfect.  A fantasy world full of Anakin Skywalkers and Nancy Drews and Wesley Crushers.  I felt crushed.  I had remembered such complex, deep characters and didn’t see those women in front of me at all anymore.  Where were those strong women who kept me safe through the worst four years of my life?

Which led me to an important realization as I soldiered on through book after book.  That’s why I needed them.  Because they were Mary Sues.  These books were not written to draw my attention to all the ugly bumps and whiskers of the real world.  They were somewhere to hide.  I was painfully aware that I was being judged by my peers and adults and found lacking.  I was a fuckup.  And sometimes a fuckup needs to feel like a Mary Sue.  As an adult, these characters felt a little thin because they lacked the real world knowledge I, as an adult, had learned and earned.  But that’s the thing…these books weren’t FOR this current version of myself.   Who I am now doesn’t need a flawless hero because I’m comfortable with the idea that valuable people are also flawed.

There is a reason that most fanfiction authors, specifically girls, start with a Mary Sue.  It’s because girls are taught that they are never enough.  You can’t be too loud, too quiet, too smart, too stupid.  You can’t ask too many questions or know too many answers.  No one is flocking to you for advice.  Then something wonderful happens.  The girl who was told she’s stupid finds out that she can be a better wizard than Albus Dumbledore.  And that is something very important.  Terrible at sports?  You’re a warrior who does backflips and Legolas thinks you’re THE BEST.   No friends?  You get a standing ovation from Han Solo and the entire Rebel Alliance when you crash-land safely on Hoth after blowing up the Super Double Death Star.  It’s all about you.  Everyone in your favorite universe is TOTALLY ALL ABOUT YOU.

I started writing fanfiction the way most girls did, by re-inventing themselves.  

Mary Sues exist because children who are told they’re nothing want to be everything.  

As a girl, being “selfish” was the worst thing you could be.  Now you live in Narnia and Prince Caspian just proposed marriage to you.  Why?  Your SELF is what saved everyone from that sea serpent.  Plus your hair looks totally great braided like that.

In time, hopefully, these hardworking fanfiction authors realize that it’s okay to be somewhere in the middle and their characters adjust to respond to that.  As people grow and learn, characters grow and learn.  Turns out your Elven Mage is more interesting if he isn’t also the best swordsman in the kingdom.  Not everyone needs to be hopelessly in love with your Queen for her to be a great ruler.  There are all kinds of ways for people to start owning who they are, and embracing the things that make them so beautifully weird and complicated.

Personally, though, I think it’s a lot more fun learning how to trust yourself and others if you all happen to be riding dragons.

Apr 10 '14

(Source: calmingmanatee)

Apr 3 '14
fandomsandfeminism:

how-to-vidya:

The evolution of girl gamers

Boy gamers are so self-centered they act as though women haven’t been playing video games for decades, and then act horrified when the female gamers who have always been there actually become visible and vocal about the rampant misogyny that has infected the gaming world. 
Like seriously, how entitled do you have to be that women saying “it sure would be nice if I wasn’t treated like shit while enjoying the games I play” translates to “I must be catered to” when video games have LITERALLY been catered to men for decades? 

Yes, exactly. And acting as if having more games made with women in mind as *part* of your potential audience somehow excludes them just boggles my mind.

fandomsandfeminism:

how-to-vidya:

The evolution of girl gamers

Boy gamers are so self-centered they act as though women haven’t been playing video games for decades, and then act horrified when the female gamers who have always been there actually become visible and vocal about the rampant misogyny that has infected the gaming world. 

Like seriously, how entitled do you have to be that women saying “it sure would be nice if I wasn’t treated like shit while enjoying the games I play” translates to “I must be catered to” when video games have LITERALLY been catered to men for decades? 

Yes, exactly. And acting as if having more games made with women in mind as *part* of your potential audience somehow excludes them just boggles my mind.